The Core of Chinese Morals, Part II
The Broader Concept of “忍” Ren
The ability “to ren” may be one of the most important cultural aspects of how people are viewed in Chinese society. Over time, the inner strength that is expressed through the practice of ren can gain a person status, opportunity, and respect. The skilled application of ren could well be one of the most important aspects of a person’s success and status. It may even be viewed as a social ruler, used to gauge a person’s ability to succeed in most every corner of society, beginning with relationships. If a person is not able to practice ren in relationships, they may find themselves without a support system or a means to an end. Ren may be practiced in a variety of situations and requires a certain amount of insight and sensitivity into the people with whom one is interacting. This idea fits well with the concept of knowing self and those with whom one is interacting, “知彼知己”, from the Art of War.
Hardships are withstood in order to attain opportunity and notoriety, possibly not for oneself but for family members or friends. Difficult situations, tasks, or surroundings may be persevered in order to attain such a result, which will, in turn, bring indirect benefit to the individual. Sort of like, “What goes around comes around”, if you will. A student will practice ren in order to improve his or her grades, an opportunity to get into a good school, to please family and friends. Parents will practice ren by not spending money that they can save for their child to improve their career opportunity, an opportunity that the parents may not have had themselves. When distasteful or rude comments are made, an upright person responds by applying ren, like “water off a duck’s back”, by not reacting. Ren is a conscious decision to not react, knowing that we can, in fact, react at any time. A powerful message is sent to all involved.
The practice of ren is not to be used recklessly and holds within its boundaries a sense of “goodness”, possibly corresponding well to the idea of compassion from a Buddhist perspective. The application of ren is not brought on by expectations of others, it is something that someone chooses, be it through upbringing, social environment, or self-cultivation. When regarded from the Yi Jing, 易经 (I Ching), the opportunity to apply ren may be because of the season, where one would be advised to wait for the ‘right timing’.
Sometimes, ren may appear evasive or weak, even as giving in. But in the long term, ren is a wisdom practice, which those who practice it understand. When applied at the right time, it will be in part what brings one the outcomes strived for. By practicing modesty with ren one may be able to achieve longevity, longterm relations or business, taking as example the concept of water as a role model — water creates great valleys by adapting and maintaining a lowly profile. Consider the saying,
People strive for high places and water flows to low spaces, “人往高处走，水往低处流”
When we are faced with a difficult situation and able to yield, or simply relax, the action of doing so may generate a counter effect that allows other possibilities to actualize. Consider the expression, “when one door closes, another opens”, as westerners, we may not think about this saying in the context of ren, but it is the same idea. With ren, however, we can close the door ourselves by not reacting, not fighting, not pushing, rather allowing things to be as they are, even though ren may not make sense in the moment. There is a saying in Chinese, “以退为进” basically expressing an idea that ‘by retreating one creates an opportunity to advance’.
Ren, in its proper setting, is a practice derived from a place of creating harmony and allowing for the success of all involved. The essence of ren cannot be applied in selfish or greedy situations. It may become less about self and more about the group, it may be the ability to do what one knows is right for the group, rather than doing what one desires for self. Or simply, doing what needs to be done in order to succeed within the relationship, business or otherwise, or simply save face. I also feel it is not incorrect to say that one of the main components of ren is modesty, “虚”.
The History of Ren
This notion of ren, as understood through English words such as, patience, perseverance, and withstanding, can be effortlessly connected to each of the three pillars of Chinese culture, Confucianism, Buddhism, and Daoism. Aspects of each of these philosophical thought schools, which form the foundation of Chinese culture, supports and promotes the practice of ren.
Confucius said, “小不忍，则乱大谋”, “If we do not persevere in the small things, it will bring on utter chaos”. Confucius’ thought comes from a societal perspective, best practices for creating a harmonious society. Sometimes, by letting loose of the small things it supports greater possibility, like the bigger picture as seen from a higher elevation.
In Buddhist scripture, the Buddha explained the means to self-cultivation. He said, “六种度方式与，万种修行方法中，忍让第一”, “Of the six means of cultivating others and the ten-thousand means of self-cultivation, yielding through practicing ren is first and foremost”. In Buddhist thought, the idea of ren is founded in the concept of being grounded in the present moment — connected to the present experience and being in touch with the universal wisdom, “般若”, the wisdom of the heart, not the mind.
Lao Zi said, “上善若水，水善利万物而不争”, “Do good like water, water supports and gives benefit to the natural world and does not work against it”. For Lao Zi, water is the role model for ren, it does not engage in a struggle and it adjusts according to the situation.
In the Annals of Confucius, Zeng Zi 曾子, one of Confucius followers said, “即使被人欺侮，也不计较”, “Even when insulted by others, we do not let it bother us”.
During the Yuan Dynasty, 1279 to 1368 CE, a sutra was composed called 【忍经】, the Sutra of Ren. The Sutra of Ren starts out, “The Kings of the Earth gain everything below the heavens by practicing ren, Generals and State Ministers gain long appointments by practicing ren, merchants achieve great wealth by practicing ren, the average person achieves supportive relations by practicing ren”.
One phrase from the Ren Sutra goes on to say,
The practice of ren must be present for things to be successful, “必有忍，其乃有济”
Ren, Applications for Today
The notion of ren can be found in many expressions of Chinese culture. It has been a cornerstone of Chinese civilization for millennia and is still an important aspect of Chinese society, while at the same time, an underlying gauge applied to personal and business relations.
Perhaps the suggestions below will trigger the flow of ren in your life and mind. Please feel free to share your own ideas and practices as they relate to ren in the comments.
1. Be slow to critique and selective of what things you point out to others. Learn the power of giving face by not being a perfectionist.
2. Don’t nitpick. Be willing to let the little things go. Just take a deep breath and move on.
3. Be OK with outcomes not exactly as you want. Be patient and open to pleasant surprises. You never know what tomorrow may bring.
4. Don’t fault others’ cultural practices or worldviews. Be open to see what new approaches to old problems may bring.
5. Look for the good, the wisdom, in things to which your first reaction may be adverse. Know there is a wisdom that moves outside your frame of logic.
